Verging on

I'm constantly get my phone taken away now. That's my fault though I guess, I'm doing this blog on my itouch right now. Whaaack shit yo. I've been so stressed and school's not even until another 7 hours. I wanna go back to last week, how I felt last week, what I wanted what I was saying last week. I wanna go back to that, completely. I havnt cried since that one awful awful night but I won't even get on that topic. That was a long night of blood and tears. Literally. Anyways, I feel like I have to cry now. But I Keep holding it in because idk crying feels stupid to me, I feel so pathetic and weak. It's getting worse though, if one bad thing happens, being yelled at or getting angry at, I might cry. I get that gross choke feeling in my throat. I hate that, I hate crying, goddamn I just want things to go back to normal. Please..
I need some type of inspiration or sense of hope. Idk what's wrong with me anymore, I can't I won't even try because I don't want to consider the reasons and oconsequences or possibilities.

"Life sucks, then we die."