The only exception

"I don't date girls who smoke, like I said I like my girls clean. It's a big turn off, but when you said that, for some reason I don't care."

Hm, there's more to that quote but this isn't the first time I've heard someone say these exact same words... Wierd.

I told him I'll stop. I promised him I'll tell him if I do. Only cause he thinks Im attractive yet he's actually trying to get to know me instead trying to get at me all dirty.

Something else

This guy right? Too lazy to explain, go to my tumblr if you get lost cheskababesx3.tumblr.com
this guy, he's so different. Mind blowing. He throws things out at me I didn't expect to hear and I would think you're lying I mean c'mon. Two days. But he's right. There was something when it was just us at night under all the stars, I did feel something. Something real, something so right. I never thought I meet someone like you. And if you knew about this blog post you'd be all like "slow your roll there Missy" like you do say. But there you go, sayin this and that. Hm. Idk you're a hard person to read mister .

I want to stop liking you. I neeeeed to. Because I feel pathetic. Fucking pathetic. You don't feel the same way I feel about you at all. You did. Before. Before, you'd text me right when you'd leave and when I didn't reply fast enough, I'd get another text from you. I'm not quite sure if you still do now because things with you are definitely not the same. I don't know. You're the first girl I've ever genuinely developed feelings for. I'm not heartbroken, I just feel reaaaal pathetic. Just tell me if I'm wasting my time and I'll stop. But the last time I wanted to stop, you kept coming on to me no matter how much I tried! Dammit, stop giving mixed signals -.-

flashback!

So a couple days ago I realized that I missed you. I havn't thought about you in a long time and one day you just popped into my head. And I started remembering you. The way you do you hair, the way you walk up to me, the way how those gorgeous lips curve up and I see your braces. I remembered how I'd get a kick on my leg or a punch on my shoulder and turn around to see you. Then, I remembered how I'd sit in my room and really think about you and then call my bestfriend late at night rambling on and on for hours about how I think that I genuinely like you. And that's wierd because I don't give much heart into girls. I know its hurtful but its true. And when I'd feel that stupid flutter feeling when I see your eyes perk up, god I felt so , wierd. And it makes me feel pathetic because I'm older and I know you don't feel the way I do.
So back to what I was saying, I miss you. And I havn't stopped falling for you. You're just that type of person I know I won't ever meet another person quite just like you.

I don't like you. So why am I getting jealous.

Past

I've been hanging out with one of my old ex boyfriends lately. Well only twice but we've been talking alot. How did this happen? Especially after all thats happened between me n him in those 7 months. It all began when I saw my old bestfriend at church and for some reason I said hi. Because again, alot happened between me n her as well. Then she started crying so I left to buy a candle and came back. She was crying in my bestfriend's shirt and poor guy was just in the middle of an awkward situation. So I asked if we could just go back and shit and then she was crying in my shirt. So later into this reborn friendship I asked her if my ex ex hated me. Remember, this isn't a current ex or any guy that I had relations with, the one waaaay back when I started this blog. Anyways, she said all this stuff like no he doesn't and that I should just text him next time that I wanted to because it wouldn't do much harm. So I did, he said no and all this other stuff that really made me feel good about myself like really good. So now we're friends too. Back to the story, we've been texting alot and now I call him at night because I feel lonely and bored. Two days ago he came by and picked me up and we drove with an absoloute no sense of direction. Here let me paste my tumblr post about that day on here; Did you know today’s the first day of summer? Well I spent it with an exboyfriend surprisingly. He picked me up and we just drove. Where? We dont know we just kept driving and then eventually went to amerige. We talked at one of the tables then I kept touching everything in his car. Then we just drove again. This time we ended up at La mirada park. Walked around. Then messed around for a good 25 mins in his car. Then went to my neighborhood and laid in his car for 15 mins then left. And I jacked his hat ^^ Next time we’re eating lunch someplace good :] Good first day of summer I must say
Yup. that was the day, I had a picture of me wearing his hat but that's on my facebook so I'm not gonna repost that. Yesterday I was late on checking my texts and I guess he took me seriously when I said I was bored and to come get me because a couple misread texts and finally "I'm at the gate" He stopped by and I freaked out because I was at such a risk of getting caught. Not that there's nothing wrong with what I'm doing, he is just a friend but then again, I have filipino parents and fuck those rules like seriously. Anyways I chilled in his car for a bit then that was over and I left.
Todaaaay. He came and got me like usual and then we drove and drove and ended up in target and bringing up all this shit from the past. Then we passed sunnyhills and ended up in some random parkinglot because we had no idea where we were going. Then ended back up at la mirada park's parking lot and just listened to music there. The end. More to come though, bye friend.

Sane

"We're only human, we need people around to feel happy. And even then we probably aren't completely happy. But that's normal. If you're alone, you can't really just make yourself happy. When we laugh, sure yeah but no one's really completely happy. And if they are, they're probably not sane."

I Love Lim. Even when I still called you Christine before you moved to a different school and now every calls you names and nick names routed from your last name :]