Bummer.

I havn't been able to get on this thing for awhile because I've been so damn busy. I might sound like a baby with this but at least its not 5 different blogs complaining about how I don't get what I want.
It's not like that.

I've been stacked with work that I havn't been doing. I've been working pretty hard I must say but I can't stand it. To be honest, I don't work like this, My work habits. Usually I just dgaf about anything and just study real hard for the tests and quizzes but actually doing my work helped out, but I don't like it -_____- I wish I would've taken a picture of my design I turned in for Composition&Design. We got to create our own outfits of a limited choice of occassion. It got send to FJC for a contest though.

So funerals, deaths, viewings. I hate them. I hate being sad, I hate crying, I hate that feeling in your throat where you start to choke up and then you know you're about to cry but you shut your mouth and keep blinking your eyes. It's hard for me to decipher the right emotion for this situation. But at least I know I'm respectful enough to have attended the Viewing. It was terrible. Do you know what the body looks like when it's in the casket? Rather, do you know how it feels to be seeing someone so full of kindness and compassion, dead? This was the second funeral type thing I've gone to in all fourteen years of my life. But for some reason, this one hit me harder than the first. I'm not being a baby here okay. For those of you who know whose father died. I cried alot, the first funeral I attended. But this one I hardly did. Although I didn't cry as much, it broke my heart to see them cry. The mom, the grandma, sister, her. Terrible. I never want to go to another one again, but thats too fucking bad because I have to face the fact that I'm fourteen and that I'm probably going to attend more.


Today was halloween at school. It was alright, not as fun as last year. I didn't bring a camera because I just didn't feel like it and I kinda regret it because I wish I had gotten some pictures of my own with a few people. Anyways, like I said it was alright. So at school I decided to go to the SMHS vs SHS game tonight. Mother didn't let me go. This whole week we've gotten so close and I have no idea why she said no. I'm bored and angry -____-

I've made close friends with Bree N. at my school. In comp&design Becca, Bree and I have our own table and bullshit the work and just talk and talk and talk for the hour and 40 mins that we're in class. Quite fun I must admit.

Uhm, don't wanna admit it but I do. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Or just who am I kidding, no one reads this anyways.

Try

I feel dizzy and a little bit faded from earlier. I don't think I could feel any more empty than I do now, and if I could, please, let it come now.
I can't stand any more of this. Build me up and bring me down.

Nothing can really make this better. Im tired, I give up, I lost.
I'll just go to sleep, and pray to God I don't wake up. Maybe my dreams would be better than what my naked eye sees.

Just get me out of here.

Jizz

I spent the whole day with my parents since all my friends hate me and refused to go out with me. My mom gave me ten dollars for saying that I wanted to hangout with her and my dad today. Preeeetty good. I finally bought a grey cardigan today, from wal-mart. It was only twelve dollars so I'm happy. I also bought a new backpack, yaaay no more exploding ketchup packets making the inside of my bag look like a trashcan.

I watched The Proposal today, I love Ryan Reynold's now. Alot. & when in all the stores I went to there were magazines of New Moon. To sum this up, the half of me that likes guys really overcame me.



Oh my fucking gahd, I just had multiple orgasms posting those pictures. I hate how I love Taylor and so many other girls do as well, its like I entered myself into that stereotypical category. Siiigh.
I wish these MEN were pornstars.

Starstrukk

I am a polygamist. I am engaged to Madison, married to Danielle, Tiffany's girlfriend, and I just asked out Lim.
It may seem that I am just a bigamist, but polygamy is delicious to say so I'm just going to say it. I love these girls.

Last night I found out that I can NOT study under pressure. I was on the verge of crying and I only had two tests. Pussy right? I just couldn't focus, I felt like I had A.D.D. or something. But thankfully, I aced both of them. I'm doing a whole lot better in school now. I also found out yesterday that I aced my geometry test, I couldn't believe it :D

I need to see Where The Wild Things Are. I need to, I'm going to force my girlfriend to see it with me tomorrow, the most recent one of course. Oh My Oh My
tiffanybloom123 (8:49:00 PM): i just pictured me fucking lim
tiffanybloom123 (8:49:04 PM): it's your turn haha
cheskie boo (8:49:11 PM): AW...
cheskie boo (8:49:13 PM): DUUDE..
cheskie boo (8:49:16 PM): THATS MY GIRLFRIEND MAN
tiffanybloom123 (8:49:28 PM): WTF AM I BITCH NIGGER
I feel attractive, if I were ugly, they wouldn't get jealous ;D

On the other side of sexuality, I dont know what I want. I'll tell you that, I want you, but I'm scared. 3 times it happened though you say that the third time didn't even happen though I'm pretty sure of what I saw. I'm scared, I'm still fucking out of my mind about you, but I don't want to push it. You're the perfect guy for me, really. Absoloutely every word I say when I describe "my type". We did this before, I didn't like what started off as beautifully sweet then driving me over the edge, in the bad way. Two words really is all, I'm scared.. :/

We Love Megan Fox

The Difference Between

Yikes yikes yikes.
I use that word alot. For example, when I saw Ms. Christensen's outfit today, first thing that ran through my mind was yikes..
Anyways, this weekend should go by good. My friend who moved to San Diego is supposed to come down and hang out with the guy we met at Panda Express last year ahaha good times<3 So I'm really looking forward to that.

I feel like.. Wait, woah. I just had deja vu. I paused to text and I feel like this exact same scene happened before. Texting, blogging, family fued on tv.. Daytripping as Skeeto would say. ANYWAYS
I feel like I have alot of work to do but I have only three days of school this week. Maybe that's why, I can't be at ease or even relax with the fact there are only three days of school. If I go to school, I need all five days. Or Four but preferrably the day of absence to be Monday or Friday. Because that is easy, not monday then wednesday. How the hell am I supposed to keep up. Damn -___-

Good conversation. I like good conversation, I like people who give good conversation because if there is one first good conversation, there will never be a dull moment between the two. Unfortunately, I fell in love with a person like that & I thought that was gone but nope. I guess falling out of love isn't as easy as falling in love.

90210 is on tonight, yes. That boy Leim. Oh My Goodness Gracious. That is a REAL man, Mmmm ahaha

Desire

I have been sexually aroused since friday night and I think its finally starting to wear off. Thank goodness because I think I was starting to annoy one of my friends complaining about my gay emotions and hormornes.
Tomorrow I have no school and I am sooo grateful for that because I like sleeping in. Reminds me of summer when I'd stay up late and wake up at 1 in the afternoon. But I'm not saying I don't like it now. I love fall, as a matter of fact it is my favorite season. I can dress better for it rather than summer but then I've sorta kinda adapted to it at the wrong time x/
I watched an amazing movie today. It's called choke. It had alot of short graphic sex scenes so I didn't expect it to be a good movie but omg it was so good, I cried!

[@ a zoo] "What do you see?"
"Animals"
"No honey, they're prisoners. Being held captive and have no freedom. They're exactly like us, only difference is, they can see the bars."

Sexuality

So much as been going on lately and it's strange because I never had plans. Ever since school started I've been going places. Sucks though because I can't hang out with people I want to because well, friends first before the guys right? It's not like I have a problem with that, it just sucks.
Like last night, it was my friends birthday party. & since I chose to go, i couldn't go out today to see my friend Skeeto. But last night was probably the greatest night of my young years. Including all the times during summer, last year and the year before that. Sure high school dances are fun but the more later it got the more fun it got. Especially that it was practically all girls. To be honest I think that if I were able to hang out with Skeeto today, it would've made my weekend the most dirtiest weekend of my life. I can't get over last night, I had so much fun. Even though I just met one of the girls that were there, maaan, we had fuuuun ;D "DOES THIS MEAN I'M BI?" Hahahaha goodness gracious, I would pick last night over doing anything else. I don't think I have ever been so damn horny in my life and were able to express it with every girl there.

Next week, I'll be looking forward to finally seeing skeeto. Shit niggaaa, its been a whole year since I've seen him !
Life's good, I'm starting to not give a fuck about alot except for friends and school. I'm staying out of drama, lest someone really brings me in it.

I'm so happy that we've got a punching bag. It's good to get my anger out considering the fact that I'm ill tempered. Also, I can improve on muay thai.

Maryanne left rosary,,,,, :/ I cried but she was at the party I went to last night and well, we had a... proper goodbye XD Man, I miss her already :[ <3

Vague

Today was absoloutely beautiful, super sunny but super cold is exactly what I have been waiting for all summer. I always thought winter was my favorite but nope, Fall is because I like seeing sun but I like feeling cold.
My brother's friend gave him a SUPER large punching bag yesterday. I went in the backyard and found my brother practicing on it. Over the summer he had a muay thai trainer so now I asked him if he could keep teaching me like he used to. With the punching bag, my elbows can hit a whole lot harder now. He's also teaching me how to kick since I keep hitting my toes :[ Once its hung up, he'll teach me how to hit with my fists. I'm quite excited, this is something I most definitely won't give up on.
I started talking to an old friend spontaneously over summer but we stopped. Now we can't seem to go a day without texting. I'm pretty excited to see him next weekend I just hope my parents let me go out that day. The day I met this kid, well to him I'm the kid since I'm like two years younger Xp, was a comical and remarkable day I'll never forget. Ohh panda express x] <3

I have so much planned for the ending of this week and it hasn't even started yet. This thursday Maddy Aust is sleeping over and I'm taking her to school on friday, Saturday I'm hanging out with Skeeto, then Monday I'm going to Lim's house to hangout.
Wooo, wooo, wooo. Many plans, and only one is confirmed. I hope this all works out :]

By Surprise

I havn't talked about my day in a while but things are well.
Yesterday was Rosary day and thats the highlight of the past couple days. It was alot better than last year probably because I hung out in a bigger group. We rode sooo many rides, not even funny. We were all tired the entire time though, no joke.
It was good day, a very good day.

If I could get my grades up, then I'd be perfectly fine. Even when I try, it doesn't work. Siiigh, I just suck at all kinds of math :[
Actually, no. My grades aren't the only thing. It hasn't been on my mind lately because we havn't talked in a while. But now that we finally did I think the pain's starting to actually kick in. You're probably like wtf, I shouldn't be hurting. Well probably because you don't even know why I did it. If you do, then you'll understand.

I'm kind of a hypocrite, I dont take the advice I give to others, towards myself. Then I'm the one getting fucked in the end. A faulty triat in me is that I'm gullible. Gullible and vulnerable at all the wrong times. Two people now have told me that :/ I fall for people's charm. Siiiigh, I needa take my own damn advice sometimes.