More like a Friend without the R

I had such a terrible weekend. Everything that went in and out of my mind was printed on my brain or something and that's all I was able to think about today. Ontop of excruciating cramps, today was terrible. You're terrible. I'm not gonna become all sad about this or some bullshit like that, but to be honest, it hurts. It hurts so much, I cried so hard this time that my boyfriend actually encouraged me to keep crying. I feel bad, having to put him through my dramatic phases making him listen to sob and sob. Sigh... "it won't hurt as much in the morning" but I'm afraid I'm going to keep hurting for awhile. Even though it's not as much as last night, I'm still hurting really bad. I wish I could go to you and have you help me out here cuz we're bestfriends but I don't even know what the meaning in that is between us because you don't come to me when you need me. Sigh... Why is this happening God..?
I just want it all to stop. Please.. Just leave me alone..

Fuck You

Wow I can't fucking believe it. I've never felt so fucking stupid in my life I take it back I take every little fucking thing I said about you or how good you were fuck you I can't fucking believe it! I've never felt so fucking stupid in life I can't believe it. I had faith I actually faith in you. All the good crap I said about you in the past couple days. Maybe I was wrong I was fucking wrong. I'm never going back to that stupid ass shit. I'll never forgive you I'll never look back on you again.
I can't believe I actually had faith in you..

Easy Going

So red and gold right? For a period of time, I'm in the front row of my drill during the best parts of it too :D That sure made me happy!
I got to see Lien over the weekend too. After that whole shit happened I wasn't able to and really, it broke me apart. But I was more than happy to hang out with her again because I don't get that sense of comfort while talking about things like that with anyone else. I feel stronger when I talk about things that make me cry so hard to her. But with others, yeah. Cry Cry. I get real talk with her, real good worth my time talk. I guess that's why shes my bestfriend.
Lalala is keeping me in high spirits too. I feel bad when I have to say something that bothers me alot.. I feel bad when I feel that way in the first place because its little mistakes that aren't meant in that way but it still hurts yaknow? Hmmm... I love you forever.
The other hand. Jealousy slaps me in two different ways. I hate it. One way is not that whole 'who the eff is her?' no. no no no its never that. Plus I'm not even like that anyways. Both situations aren't like that. Anywho. I hate that I'm the only one that cares anymore. I hate that you never come to me saying I miss you. I hate it. What makes me hate it even more is that I'm the only one that cares enough to cry so goddamn hard about this.

Melodies and desires

Love is the harmony, desire is the key
love is a symphony now play it with me
I'll be the rhythm you'll be the beat
the love the shoreline the love I'll meet
the love is the shoreline, you and I will meet
love is the symphony come save some with me

I can't believe it, but this is all real.

Luxurious

Today is supah bowl sundaayayaya. This morning we all went to church and then to costco and chipotle. That was reallyyy reallyyy fun. Aside from costco being overly packed. Everyone and all their huge carts everywhere pissed me off. I don't like being in crowded places like that. Like at school in line for food, that pisses me off too. I just don't like being in packed places with all these obnoxious ass people, I hate seeing all their faces -_____- Not like dances though, I like that type of crowded like fun places where it supposed to be crowded and its dark and everyone just dgafs. I like that. Anyways, we had chipotle by my house in La Habra. We ate it outside on a table in the sun. It was reeeeally nice. I like being outside in the sun with a nice breeze right next to all these cars. That's my favorite, I absoloutely love it when it's sunny and breezy and being in those nice areas that have alot of plants and such with water fountains and friendly passerbys. I love that, that is my favorite ahaha. That made my day, especially that saturday morning was rough between my family. Oh! and at church I saw my good old friend Jesse Leo. I missed that kid sooooo much. I like that fact how I can actually call him a friend whom I trust and love because I don't have much guy friends like that considering the fact all the guys in my elementary class were feeling up on all the girls. Of course he was perverted too but he never disrespected me like that. Also, he didn't take sides when the whole shi-bang happened during the past summer. If only everyone was like that, maybe things wouldn't be so damn hard and dramatic. I was surprised how much he cares about me sometimes, I guess cuz we were once in major like with each other in the 7th grade haha. I don't think any of my guy friends now would pick me up and swing me around squeezing me because how much they missed me like ol' JL did. Wow, I love that boyyy. Never breaking that friendshipp(: Anywho after all thattt, I watched District 9 for the second time con mi hermano. He liked it ^-^ Hmmm, superbowl? Inteeeenseeee, I'm glad I watched. I'm not really a sports fan, not even my mom, brother or dad. But we still like it, not as crazy as everyone else like throwing parties and painting our faces. Overall, today was a great day. Let's not forget mi amor texting me the whole day. I love you ^-^

Today I noticed I have quite a large set of eyes for a Pacific Islander..

Raiiiin

Last night I had to go see the trischool theatre play, A Murder Is Announced for my Intermediate Drama class at school. I watched it with mi amor and it was sooo fun. That play was sooo good and I guessed everything right!(: It was raining after the play and it must have been freezing, but I wasnt. Last night was perfecttt ^-^