Done. Pax.

Everythings done and settled with. No more
My mind is finally at peace.

Somehow something goes wrong and still you are the only person I know that can help me. Anyone else would give me advice that probably doesn't even make sense or some bullshit like everythings gonna be okay and to cheer up. I think if my eyelids get puffy within an hour that I can't cheer up. Just last week I had a nightmare that honestly made me need you. No one else made it all go away like you. Just like right now. No one would understand really what's going on in my family right now, but you. But I won't go to you, no matter how much I need someone to understand, I despise all that you are yet you're the only person I know that understands and would know what to do in this situation. I wish I could hate you, so goddamn badly because that's all you deserve. I hate that I need you.