Weekend

I didn't notice how quiet it was in my room, in the house
till I had ripped the blasting headphones from ears
and stopped hearing, reading, crying, and wondering why
I didn't notice. It was so quiet it was almost as if the world stopped
my whole mindset stopped
I would have thought so if it weren't for the sound of cars on the busy street outside my house
I never thought I'd come to the thought of us
ending? Stopping? No, not that. The end of all love and care
and willingness to love and care. That, yes that.
I didn't speak, I didn't smile, I didn't feel. This whole day I couldn't feel
it was like every move I made was of nothingness
nothing, was my answer when someone asked how I was feeling
I felt nothing.
Maybe I did, a small abstract emotion that could not specified
due to the mixture of irritance, heartbreak, anguish, and lonelyness
Lonelyness..
Who just leaves like that..
I guess I did feel something
otherwise I wouldn't be crying..
I just don't know what's it's called
I just don't know what to say